I should have known! While Apple’s a truly exceptional company, there’s no way they could have made my dreams come true. But, against my better judgement, I hauled out the chair I used at Fifth Avenue, sallied forth to yon Westfarms mall, and joined in the line for what was sure to be a day to be remembered. NOT because Apple were bringing bottles of water around. NOT because the fine folks of Williams Sonoma were plying us with iced creams, Margarita’d mixes (sans alcohol) and omelets. And no, NOT even because the California Pizza Kitchen brought up free slices for the famished masses, yummy though they were. No, this day would be remembered for years to come as the day when people lined up, some DAYS before the release to march into an Apple store and buy their first food product, the iPone.

Ok, so I missed the h. Maybe it was because, for some reason, I was able to completely miss the hype (they didn’t show any commercials on Cartoon Network, you see) and perhaps viewing those videos on Apple’s website just made me think of food (Calamari, anyone?). But I, as a native of those areas below the Mason-Dixon, was truly under the impression that Apple was entering into the food business. And who among you think it WOULDN’T have been successful!!?!?

Gloom, despair and agony aside (not to mention deep dark depression and excessive misery), I found myself in an Apple store to buy something, so why NOT pick up a phone? Couldn’t be all bad, ya know? Turns out, while it’s not exactly a yummy eggless cornbread, it does have a tastiness all it’s own. I’m no phone expert (drop the “h” and we’ll talk!), but I do know what I like, and this thing, I like. And, the fact that the iPhone renders this page quite nicely and exceedingly readable forces me to plant another feather in it’s cap!

In the interest of full disclosure, I didn’t think it was iPone, but I DID wait in line, so, as you see, it was only the SLIGHTEST of exaggerations. By the way, check back later for a iPhone related list that may tickle your fancy OR annoy your, ah, plain.